“It’s a spark, and don’t let anyone else put it out”

Jake Yambor runs 4-H programs for young people in Charlotte. He grew up in Nebraska, but not in 4-H. He found it later, after college, as an educator. Since then he’s worked in 4-H in Nebraska, New York and now North Carolina.

When I got to “Mecklenburg” in my intro, he finished it for me: “County, in Charlotte.” The call was short, about eleven minutes, so this one’s a quick read.

The part I keep thinking about is the very end, when I asked what he’d tell teens who lose motivation because of what people around them think. Here’s most of what he said.

Lightly edited so it reads easier. The words are his.

He didn’t grow up in 4-H

Back in high school, did you know you wanted to work with young people, or did you figure it out later? How did you end up in 4-H and Extension?

“I did not know when I was in high school that I wanted to work with youth, especially in education. After I finished my bachelor’s degree, I kind of fell into being an educator. I worked for the YMCA out in Colorado, doing outdoor environmental education. That’s kind of where I got my start.”

“Eventually I moved out of Colorado and back to Nebraska, where I’m originally from, and I kind of fell into 4-H that way, as an educator rather than growing up in 4-H. That’s how I got my start, and it spread out from there. I was a 4-H educator in Nebraska, then New York, and now North Carolina, in Mecklenburg County.”

You don’t have to be sure

Do teens need to be 100% sure before they start exploring?

“Oh no, I don’t think so. Not being sure, and being willing to be open and try different things, is actually really important.”

“Sometimes when you’re so sure about certain things and they don’t work out, you can get disappointed and lose track of what you want to do. Being open and trying different things has actually worked out for me. I never thought I’d be where I’m at right now, doing this. Being open got me through my master’s, and got me to where I am now, potentially doing a PhD program with NC State. Sometimes it works out that way.”

So take every opportunity you can get.

“Yeah, take every opportunity you can get. But also learn when it’s not working for you. If you don’t really like it, it’s okay to try something else.”

Pick the one you love

Should teens go into a field they love, or one they think they’re talented in and have a future in?

“I guess it depends, but me personally, I’d say the one you love, just because it’s something you’re going to be doing for a very long time. Sometimes people choose a career for all the wrong reasons, and that’s totally okay if that’s their main goal. In the end, your end goal is what’s going to make you happy.”

“For me, I chose a career I’m passionate about and that I think I can do my best work in. That was the line for me. Definitely the one I’m more passionate about.”

Start with your own backyard

What are some projects teens in Charlotte could start in their own neighborhood or backyard that actually help the people around them?

“There are different service learning opportunities, like the community service projects some of our youth are working on. And one of the biggest things our whole NC Cooperative Extension office is focused on right now is connecting the local food systems together. Getting local produce and local things out there a little more.”

“And just seeing what local opportunities are actually around you. Sometimes you don’t know what’s right next to you, because there are so many different things coming at you. It’s okay to do that exploring. That’s what we’re focusing on right now: service, connecting local food systems, and seeing what’s in your own backyard.”

So start by exploring, and learning what’s around you first.

“Yeah, what’s around you, and also not being afraid to ask questions. That’s one of the biggest things. I always say it doesn’t hurt to ask, especially if you’re curious and you’re polite and respectful about it. It’s usually worked out for me when I’ve done that.”

Start with a soft introduction

This was the question I cared about most.

A lot of teens feel like they don’t know enough, or don’t have the experience, to reach out to experts. How willing are professionals to answer a student who wants advice about a field or a future job?

“I think it’s all about how you’re approaching it. Do a soft introduction, like, ‘Hey, I’m curious about this. I would love to know more about you and what you do.’ Then eventually you can start asking more of the questions you really want answers to. If you just come right out with it, it can be a little much for people who have never met you before.”

“So do those soft introductions. Get to know them first, get to know their research, show an interest in what they’re doing. Then start asking those questions after you’ve built a little rapport with them. I feel like that goes a long way.”

Changing majors, and then COVID

A lot of students assume someone’s path to success was smooth. What were your biggest setbacks, and what kept you going?

“I had lots of setbacks. In college I changed my major so many times. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I went in undecided, which was probably not the best idea, but I tried a bunch of different things. It was a setback every time I tried something I thought I was interested in and then changed my mind.”

“Then my final year of college, when I was graduating, that’s when COVID came around. That made things take a different path than normal.”

“But you just take it in stride. You keep trying different things and find ways around it. You find new ways, like remote learning, or different opportunities you might not have thought of originally.”

Do you think those hardships ended up getting you where you wanted to be?

“Oh, yeah, absolutely. In my opinion, one of the best ways to learn is through those hardships. Mistakes are how you learn. It’s how you grow. Everyone’s going to go through their own hardships, and the way you grow from them says a lot about who you are and what you’re capable of.”

And going through them makes you a harder working person.

“A harder working person, but also empathetic toward what other people are going through.”

Follow the niche thing

What’s one thing you wish you knew back in high school?

“That it’s okay to explore topics that might not interest everyone. One thing I wish I’d done differently is follow the niche topics I had a strong passion for earlier on, even though that wasn’t the way everyone else was going. It seemed a little too out there, like it would be a very difficult path to get where I wanted.”

“I wish I’d looked at it a little differently, because I still have a passion for those things to this day, and I would have loved to explore them further. But that’s what it is. I ended up finding my place where I am today, and I wouldn’t change that.”

Don’t let anyone put out your spark

Is there anything else you want the teens watching this to know?

“One of the biggest things I always say is try something out. If you don’t like it, try again, or try something else.”

“Another thing is to follow your gut a little bit. Sometimes you overthink things when you’re going through them, but your gut is usually right in those situations. And don’t be afraid to be yourself. That’s one of the biggest things. I know it’s a little different in high school, when you’ve got the pressure cooker of everyone around you and how you think you look to them. But being yourself is unique, and I think that’s what makes you special.”

A lot of people want validation from the people around them, and when the feedback is negative, they lose focus and stop.

“Yeah. That light that you have, it’s a spark. Don’t let anyone else put it out.”

When we finished, he thanked me for reaching out and said he could connect me with other people if I wanted.

Thank you to Jake Yambor and NC State Extension for making the time.

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